Most of us have either watched Friends or at least know the premises of the show. An ensemble cast of 6 characters are trying to figure out how to navigate adulthood in New York City. A lot of it hasn’t aged well, but it still brings up fond memories for a lot of us Gen Xers.

I don’t want to do a complete rewatch/summary of the show. I want to watch an episode and focus on one character. This episode that’s Monica, after all, her name is in the title.

We start at Central Perk, a coffee shop where the cast seem to monopolize the cozy couch area. Monica is telling Chandler, Pheobe and Joey about her “non-date”.

Monica: “It’s just 2 people going out to dinner and not having sex.”

Chandler: “Sounds like a date to me.”

I love the camaraderie of the group. Everyone wants that group of friends who you can talk about everything and nothing with at the same time and know that those people just get you.

Monica’s “non-date” is with Paul the Wine Guy, which I will get into in a minute. First I have to ask the question, What the heck is she wearing?” I remember overalls being a thing in the ‘90s, but I don’t remember wearing what looks like her grandpa’s pants and suspenders being a thing, and definitely not what I’d wear on a first date. There is a shot of her from the back and I swear they aren’t even fastened.

So back to the date… Here we get our first real moment of not aging well. Paul has spent the majority of the date talking about his relationship and break up with his ex girlfriend. For me that’s a red flag making it seem like he’s not over her yet, but in true ‘90s fashion, Monica feels bad for him and like she wants to fix him. Ladies! You can’t fix a guy. He has to put in the work and do it himself. Also, having a man in your life won’t fix you either.

So obviously Monica’s heart strings were pulled enough to make her think it was a good idea to continue her “non-date” at home and in the bedroom. No shame. You do you. I’m not upset with her for sleeping with him on the first date, but I am super offended that he lied to her to get her into bed. False representation of yourself should not be considered normal behavior.

Then again, maybe that’s part of what Monica means when she tells Rachel the real world sucks. You have to go to a job that isn’t always great. People are focused on getting what they want and don’t care who gets hurt in the process. The only person you can depend on is yourself, and if you’re lucky, you’ll find some true friends, who feel like family and you can lean on them when you need to.

I have a lot of high school friends whom I’ve drifted apart from. I don’t know that I have the open heartedness of Monica to let any of them move in with me. Maybe it would be different if I didn’t have kids, but I don’t know. Part of me thinks we stopped talking all those years ago for a reason, so why go backwards? Maybe Monica is just a better person than I am.