Having an autoimmune disease is not for the weak. I can defend myself from attacks from other people, but I can’t defend against my own body attacking me. It’s easy to give in to negative thoughts during an extended flare.

My bad days have out numbered the good ones over the past month. I wake up with a migraine 5 out of 7 days a week. I can’t wear my wedding ring because my hands are swollen and I’m struggling to focus on anything but the pain.

I feel like I’m failing. My mind is full of negative thoughts, like, “I don’t have the energy to be a good wife. I’m too cranky to be the kind of mom I want to be.” I’m terrified I’m going to miss something at work and let everyone down as well.

I’ve been looking into strategies for keeping the depression and negativity at bay, and came across The Curiosity Hack. It suggests treating negative thoughts like a chat with a friend. Here are the steps.

1. Pause and Notice the Thought: Instead of suppressing the negative thoughts, acknowledge them. My negative thought I feel like I’m failing.
2. Shift to Curiosity: Ask yourself where those thoughts are coming from and why they are so negative. My questions:What specific thing are you struggling with? Is someone asking you to do more than you are able to? Are you giving yourself the same grace you give to others?
3. Thank the Thought for It’s Intentions: Acknowledge that these negative thoughts are trying to protect you and thank them for the effort. My gratitude: Thank you for making me slow down. I really am feeling overwhelmed. Maybe I should ask for help.
4. Reassure and Reframe: Give yourself new perspective. My positive spin: Yes, there are a lot of things on your to do list, but you can tackle them one at a time. Asking for help to meet deadlines isn’t a failure, it’s part of being a team.

I’m not trying to tell you this is a cure for depression, nor am I trying to say I will never have down days. I’m recommending this as a coping strategy. I’m pointing out that there is a root cause to our thoughts and we need to acknowledge that in order to function and heal.

Sending you all love and positive energy.

Kristie